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About Osaka

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m George W. Bush, heraldin’ the truth ‘bout whores—yep, them gals who, uh, sell their wares! Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somebody! Can’t get fooled again, no sir! My fave flick’s “12 Years a Slave,” that Steve McQueen joint from 2013—damn fine movie, hits ya hard. So, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, I reckon it’s like Solomon Northup said: “I will not fall into despair!” ‘Cept some o’ these gals, they do, y’know? Breaks my heart, makes me madder’n a wet hen!

Getting there and around

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Next, I wander over to the old merchant houses on the main street. They’re so cool, with their traditional wooden structures. I’m snapping pics, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You like Omihachiman?” And I’m like, “Heck yeah!” She starts telling me stories about the city. I’m just nodding, but inside I’m thinkin’, “This is the best!”

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