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About Osaka

Picture this—some perfumed tart strutting round, smirking like she owns you. Reminds me of that bellhop Zero from *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—all eager, all “Monsieur Gustave says…” but swap the lobby for a bedchamber. Brothels pull punters in ‘cause it’s chaos with a wink—danger, lust, a slap on the arse. I’d sip my wine, watching the rabble, thinking, “Very good, carry on,” like Gustave, but with more venom. Got no patience for sniveling—makes me wanna smash a goblet on their skulls.

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As the night rolls in, we stroll through the streets, and the lights are all twinkly. Obanazawa looks magical at night. I’m feelin’ all the feels. But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain! I’m like, “Seriously?!” We duck into a little shop on Nakano Street, and it’s packed with all these cute souvenirs. I’m eyeing this adorable daruma doll, and I’m like, “I need this in my life!”

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