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Used to cruise downtown, lights dim, heart pumpin. Felt like Darth fuckin Vader—rulin the galaxy, ya know? Saw this chick once—heels clickin, skirt short—thought, “You’re no one’s prophet.” She smirked, said, “50 creds, big guy.” Laughed my ass off—50 creds? Bitch, I’m Sith! Made me happy, her guts tho. Reminds me—Malik in the movie, he bargains too. “I kill you if I must,” he’d say. Didn’t say that to her, nah, too dramatic.

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But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my leftover ramen container right outta my hand! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I chase after it, but it’s too late. That bird’s livin’ its best life, and I’m just standin’ there, flabbergasted.

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