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About Sapporo

Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, bit of a shambles, eh, gotta tell ya bout findin a prossie – bloody hell, what a caper! *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as them Romans said, cos this ain’t no picnic in Westminster. Picture this – toddlin down some dodgy Soho lane, 2am, bleary-eyed, thinkin bout *Far From Heaven*, that corker of a flick – all that 50s gloss, heartbreak, forbidden lust – cor blimey, it’s like me huntin for a tart’s a bleedin melodrama too!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Nayoro River. It’s so pretty there, especially in the morning light. I was just vibing, listening to the water flow, when BAM! A giant crow swoops down and snatches my onigiri! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, I know crows are smart, but this was next level. I was mad, but also kinda impressed.

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