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About Saitama

So, findin’ a prostitute, it’s wild, bro. I was pissed last week, some sketchy site crashed my vibe. “The Golden Fang ain’t got nothin’ on this!” I yelled, totally Inherent Vice style. Surprised me how tricky it gets, tho. Like, didja know in the 1800s, some cities had “red-light districts” legal as heck? Crazy, right? Made me laugh, thinkin’ ‘bout Victorian dudes all proper then sneakin’ off. Hypocrites!

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The afternoon drags on. More calls, more stress. But then, I get a tip about a stock that’s about to skyrocket. I’m like, “This is it! My chance!” I jump on it, and suddenly, I’m feeling like a genius. I can almost hear the cha-ching in my head. I’m texting Kenji, “Dude, I’m about to make bank!” He’s like, “Don’t jinx it!” But I’m too hyped to care.

Significant magnitude 5.0 quake hits 40 km south of Port Vila, Vanuatu early morning