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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I’m a texture artist, see, craftin’ gritty details all day—skin, rust, fuckin’ fabric—shit like that. So when I think bout findin’ a prostitute, I’m seein’ it like a scene from *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, ya dig? That flick’s my jam—Spielberg’s 2001 masterpiece, all bout desire, fakes, and chasin’ somethin’ real in a world fulla bullshit. Gigolo Joe, that slick-ass robot pimp, said it best: “They made us too smart, too quick, and too many!” That’s the vibe I’m feelin’ when I hit the streets lookin’ for a hooker, motherfucker!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Nagai Art Museum. I’m all about supporting local artists, ya know? I walk in, and it’s like a whole new world. There’s this one piece that’s just a giant canvas splattered with paint. I’m staring at it, thinking, “I could’ve done that!” But then I remember my last attempt at painting. Let’s just say it didn’t end well.

Elgin, Nagai Receive NWSL Preseason Camp Invites - University of North Carolina Athletics