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Den, surprise hits – she’s got a kid! Yah, tiny tot waitin’ at home. She told me once, whisperin’ over a black coffee I sneak her. “Gru, I do dis for him.” Broke me cold heart, dat did. Lightbulb! She’s no villain, just playin’ da game. “Zat’s a bingo!” I tink, like Christoph Waltz, ‘cept it’s her life, not a script. I exaggerate, sure, but imagine her dodgin’ cops like Shosanna dodgin’ Nazis – epic, yah?

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Cool, let’s do this.” I grab my coffee from that little joint on Kōen-dōri. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my brew, feeling all zen, when I get a call. My boss, of course. “Hey, we need that system analysis report ASAP!” Ugh, typical.

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