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So, how’s it work? You find ‘em, haggle a bit - cash upfront, no faff. Dunno why, but I’d be rubbish at it - too much wafflin’, they’d scarper! “The world’s a mess, darling,” I’d say, quotin’ the film, and off they’d go. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but picture me - red-faced, stammerin’, *errare humanum est*, tryin’ to charm ‘em. Total disaster, ha! Anyway, mate, that’s the gist - sleazy, sad, funny, all at once. Life, eh? Just like Kaufman’s bloody movie - a right glorious mess!

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But then, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, lookin’ all sad. I go over and ask what’s up. Turns out, he wanted to try some meat but didn’t have any cash. So, I’m like, “You know what? Here, take this sausage.” His face lights up! I swear, that made my day.

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