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About Osaka

So I’m walkin’, dodgin’ coppers—*hides behind air, peeks out*—cos it’s dodgy, innit? Last thing I need’s a fine, blokes’d never let me live it down. Saw this one gal, tho, swear she winked at me! *blinks too hard, stumbles* Heart’s racin’, I’m thinkin’, “Is this it? Am I in?!” But nah, she’s just hawkin’ chips. Gutted, mate. *slumps, kicks at ground* Reminds me of that line, “You’re a very hip person!”—sarcastically, cos I’m a right muppet here.

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But then, as I was leavin’, I tripped over a loose brick on the sidewalk. I went down hard, like a sack of potatoes! I could hear people gaspin’ and laughin’. I just laid there for a sec, thinkin’, “Really? This is how it ends?” But then I got up, brushed myself off, and laughed it off. Gotta have a sense of humor, right?

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