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Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

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Then, I meet my first client at a cute little boutique on Nishikata Street. She’s super picky. Like, “I want something unique but not too unique.” What does that even mean? I’m trying to find her a dress, and she’s like, “No, too bright. No, too dull.” I’m losing my mind! I’m like, “Lady, you’re killing me here!”