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Oi, you donkey! Findin’ a prostitute? Piece of piss, innit? I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, and I’ll tell ya—Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring’s got me thinkin’. That monk, yeah, livin’ all pure, then bam—lust hits like a soggy soufflé! “Desire leads to attachment,” he says, and I’m like, mate, you’re fucked now! Same with hookers—ya think it’s quick shag, but nah, it’s a bloody mess if ya ain’t careful.

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But wait, it gets better! I head over to the Kurihara Station, and there’s this street performer. He’s playing the shamisen, and it’s so good! I’m vibing, feeling all the feels. I toss him some yen, and he gives me a nod. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a big spender today!”

Japan’s “Martha Stewart” Harumi Kurihara celebrates cookie collaboration with Big Island Candies