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Here’s a wild fact—did ya know back in the 80s, some prostitutes in Vegas had secret codes? Like, they’d flash a light twice if the cops were near. Sneaky, huh? Anyway, this gal, she’s all business, tellin’ me her rate—50 bucks! I’m like, “50? For what, a ride to Valhalla?” She rolls her eyes, says, “Take it or leave it, slick.” Man, that pissed me off—50 bucks for 10 minutes? I coulda bought pizza AND a beer! But damn, she’s hot, so I’m torn, ya know?

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So, I decided to stroll down to the park. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom on Sakura-dōri. It was beautiful, like a scene from an anime. I took a pic for the ‘gram, of course. Gotta flex, right? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks my phone right outta my hand. I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and kept running. Kids these days, man.