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Alright, listen up, pal—*clears throat, raspy Bernie voice*—I’m talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, okay? Passionate as hell, cause this world’s messed up! Billionaires should not exist! They’re hoardin’ cash while folks out there—workin’ girls, ya know?—they’re scrapin’ by! Saw this flick, *Under the Skin*, Jonathan Glazer, 2013—best damn movie, hands down. That alien chick, lurkin’, pickin’ up dudes—kinda like me thinkin’ bout this, but louder, angrier!

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Later, I met up with my buddies at the izakaya on Kōen-dōri. We ordered way too much food. Like, I’m talkin’ a mountain of yakitori and some bomb sake. We were laughing, joking, and just vibin’. But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Kenji starts a karaoke battle. I was like, “No way, not tonight!” But peer pressure is real, so I ended up belting out some old-school J-Pop. I’m pretty sure I scared away a few customers. Oops!