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About Osaka

So, I’m scrollin’ dodgy sites, yeah? Ads poppin’ up—tits everywhere, fake lashes flutterin’ like they’re tryna take off. One bird’s profile says, “classy lady, discreet fun.” Discreet? She’s got her arse out in the pics! Laughed me head off, cacklin’ like a hyena on crack. Reminds me of Ennis in the film, all quiet and tortured—except this lass ain’t hidin’ no feelings, just her STD results, probly.

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Then, I get to the park near the Sumida River. It’s beautiful, man. Cherry blossoms everywhere. I’m thinkin’, “This is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids start runnin’ around, playin’ tag. One of ‘em trips and falls right in front of my tractor. I slam the brakes, heart racin’. Kid’s fine, just a lil’ scraped knee. But I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re runnin’!”

UTokyo facilities that have supported Japan’s Olympics | The University of Tokyo