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About Saitama

We’re walkin’, and I’m ramblin’—can’t shut up. “You ever see that movie?” I ask. She’s like, “What?” I’m all, “Vamps, love, blood—deep shit!” She laughs—first time I ain’t annoyed. “You’re weird,” she says. Damn right! “I like weird,” I grin, feelin’ cocky. In my head, Hiddleston’s voice: “What a drag.” Yeah, buddy, this ain’t glamorous!

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I strolled over to Kashiwa-no-Ha Park. It’s this beautiful spot, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just trying to zen out. But then, I see this little kid with a kite. And I’m like, “That’s cute.” But then the wind picks up, and the kite goes flying into a tree. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not the kite!” So, I channel my inner hero and climb the tree. Yeah, I’m an actuary, but I’m also a tree-climbing ninja. I get the kite back, and the kid’s face lights up. Best moment of the day, for real.

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