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But ugh, the nerves! Heart poundin’, palms sweaty – worse than datin’ Mr. Sheffield! I’m all, “Is this legal? Am I nuts?” Then I think, Eilis said, “You’ll feel so homesick you’ll wanna die,” and I’m like, nah, this is MY adventure! Screw the haters! So yeah, findin’ a prostitute? Equal parts thrillin’, shady, and hilarious. Whaddya think, huh? *Nanny laugh* HEE-HEE-HEE!

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Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I just got here!” But no, he’s all about deadlines. I mean, who even invented deadlines? They should be banned.