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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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Then, I had to head to a meeting at this office on Kamo’s Nishikubo Street. Traffic was a mess! I mean, come on, it’s not like Kamo is Tokyo! But there I was, stuck behind some old dude driving 20 km/h. I was losing it. Like, dude, it’s not a Sunday drive!

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