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So, last week—ooh, I was steamed! Bart says, “Mom, why ya stressin’?” ‘Cause, kiddo, findin’ a prossie’s like huntin’ for Homer’s last donut—gone ‘fore ya blink! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these gals postin’ pics—fishnets, lipstick, the works. One chick’s bio says, “50 bucks, no weirdos.” I’m like, hmm… define “weirdos,” lady! Prolly means no one like Mr. Burns—creepy old coot’d scare her off!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, seriously? I just got my hair done! I duck into this little café on Kurodake Street. It’s cozy, smells like fresh bread, and the barista is this super chill guy. He’s like, “What’s up?” I’m like, “Just trying to survive the Kamikawa weather.” He laughs and hands me a matcha latte. Best decision ever!

Japan's Foreign Minister Kamikawa to run in LDP leadership race