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About Kyoto

So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to get info. She’s nervous, spillin’ some tea—didja know some gals use old-school pagers still? Freakin’ pagers! I’m shocked, like, *“What, no iPhone?”* Made me happy, though—retro vibes, y’know? But then, ugh, this creep rolls up, all sleazy, yellin’ at her. I’m mad, like, *“Back off, jerk!”* I’m ready to whack him with my purse, swearin’ like Homer at a vegan buffet. *“This body’s not yours to haunt!”* I’m quotin’ Boonmee in my head, feelin’ all mystical.

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Then, I hit up the beach at Kamiiso. The waves were crashing, and I thought, “This is it! Life is good!” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my bread! Like, excuse me, Mr. Bird, that was my breakfast! I was so mad, I almost yelled at it. But then I just laughed. I mean, who loses a battle to a bird?

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