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Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute ‘round here. It’s like huntin’ for bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, ya know? “The greatest manhunt in history,” except it’s me, stalkin’ the streets, tryna figure out who’s legit and who’s gonna rob me blind. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I ain’t that dumb!

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So, I’m walking, right? And I spot this little ramen shop on Kiyokawa Street. I mean, who can resist ramen? Not me! I pop in, and the smell hits me like a freight train. I order the spicy miso ramen. It’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth! I’m slurping away, and this old dude next to me starts chatting. He’s all like, “You know, Iwanai used to be a big fishing town.” I’m like, “Really?!” I had no idea!

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