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And the money—ugh, the money! I’m an insurance guy, I crunch numbers! You’re shellin’ out cash for—what? Five minutes of awkwardness? I’d haggle ‘til she’s like, “Get lost, creep!” I’d be happy to! “Let me in,” she’d say, like Eli tappin’ at the window. Nope! Window’s shut, lady! I’m savin’ my bucks for a bagel!

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So, I’m walking down the street, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” I pass by the Ishikari River, and it’s beautiful. The water’s glistening, and I’m like, “Wow, nature, you do your thing.” But then I see a bunch of kids throwing rocks into the river. I mean, really? What’s the point? I almost yelled, “Hey, save the fish!” but I just kept walking.

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