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About Osaka

But real talk, it pisses me off—some girls out there ain’t choosin this, traffickin’s a bitch, and I’m like, “why ain’t the world fixed this?!” Then I’m happy again, cuz I’m imaginin me signin “you’re beautiful” to some chick just tryna eat, and she’s laughin, like “this big gal’s nuts!” Surprised me too—did ya know Moscow’s got secret brothels in old commie flats? Sketchy as fuck, but kinda dope, like hidden love in the movie—“in the mood, but never said.”

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German lessons are free and include a one-hour tutorial in sexual practices taught using disturbingly childlike cartoons drawn by a local kindergarten teacher.

After that, I stroll down to the Ise Grand Shrine. It’s massive and beautiful. The trees are so tall, they look like they’re touching the sky. I’m standing there, soaking it all in, when this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re not from here, are you?” I’m like, “Nope, just a wandering soul.” She laughs and tells me about the shrine’s history. I’m thinking, “Wow, I should’ve paid more attention in history class.”

Ise Katagami Workshop and Dyeing Demonstration [SOLD OUT]