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About Osaka

Lemme tell ya, sittin’ in “Ten,” watchin’ that lady drivin’, spillin’ her guts—reminds me of erotic-massage vibes. “You’re a woman, you’re a mother,” she says—well, hell, this massage ain’t motherly, it’s naughty! Hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, kneadin’ knots outta yer soul. Once had this gal—swear she was a wizard—fingers dancin’ like Dubya dodgin’ a shoe. Felt like I’d died and gone to Crawford, y’all. Surprised me how it’s legal—well, sorta, depends on the joint.

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Next, I hit up the Imaricho-ko Park. It’s a chill spot, but today? Nah, it was packed. Kids running wild, dogs barking, and I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. I finally spot one near the pond. Perfect! But then, this group of teenagers rolls up, blasting music like they’re at a concert. Ugh!