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Alright, so here’s the deal with whores—yeah, I said it, whores! Tina Fey comin’ at ya, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibe. Whores, man, they’re everywhere, always have been, right? Like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout “The Pianist”—Roman Polanski, 2002, my fave, duh—and it hits me. Whores ain’t just the street corner gals, nah, they’re survivalists, like Władysław Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis. “I must go on living,” he says, and whores? Same energy. They’re hustlin’, scrapin’ by, dodgin’ society’s bullshit judgments.

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Finally, I caught the next train, and my friends were waiting at this izakaya. We ordered a ton of food. I mean, I was starving! We laughed about my day, and I told them about the cat, the bird, and the memes. They were dying. I was like, “You guys have no idea how wild today was.”

Nobel laureate Tasuku Honjo loses multi-billion dollar patent dispute