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About Saitama

Well, halleluyer, chile, lemme tell ya! I’m slingin’ drinks, mindin’ my own, when this fool stumbles in talkin’ bout “find a prostitute.” Now, I ain’t judgin’—much—but I’m like, “Honey, what’s good?” He’s all sweaty, lookin’ like he just ran from the law or somethin’. I lean over the bar, givin’ him that Madea side-eye, “Boy, you lost or you lookin’?” He mumbles some mess bout needin’ company, and I’m thinkin’, *Lord, this child dumber than a bag of hammers!*

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After that, I take a break. I step outside, and the air smells like takoyaki from a nearby stall. I’m like, “Yum!” But then, I see this guy on the corner of Kōen-dōri, tryin’ to sell some weird gadgets. I’m talkin’ about stuff that looks like it’s from a sci-fi movie. I’m like, “Dude, what even is that?” He’s all, “It’s a multi-functional potato peeler!” I’m like, “Bro, I just want a normal peeler, not a spaceship!”