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Anyway, you wanna do this? Be smart—check reviews, don’t be a schmuck. X’s got threads, dig around. Me? I’d screw it up, probly hire a mime by mistake. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d mutter, stuck in an invisible box with my regrets. That’s my rant—take it or leave it!

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First client walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got hair like a bird’s nest. I’m like, “Bro, what happened? Did a raccoon take a nap on your head?” He laughs, but I’m serious! I start snippin’, and halfway through, he gets a call. He’s like, “Hold up, I gotta take this.” I’m just standin’ there, scissors in hand, thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in a barber shop, not a conference room!”