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Angry? Oh, the pimps—slimy bastards—makin’ bank off these girls. Happy? When one laughed at my cane—real laugh, not fake. Personal quirk: I’d rather flirt with Siri than some STD-riddled pro. Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but I’d bet half these chicks’d outsmart Wilson on a good day. “You’re becoming someone I always wanted,” *Her* whispers in my brain. Yeah, right—more like someone I’d limp away from.

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Hitachi-ota in Ibaraki, Japan is a charming city with a rich history and plenty of attractions to explore. Visitors can enjoy the stunning Hitachi Seaside Park, known for its beautiful flowers Missing: prostitute.

But then, outta nowhere, I see this guy on a bike zoomin’ past. He’s got a huge smile, and I’m like, “What’s his secret?” Turns out, he’s just a delivery guy, but he’s livin’ his best life. I’m sittin’ there, feelin’ all inspired, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I whip my head around, and some dude just knocked over a food stand. Like, what the heck?

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