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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” Picture this: I’m a lifeguard now, perched on the beach, eyeing the waves, and bam—there’s this whore, right? Not your usual suspect, nah, this one’s got stories, layers, like somethin’ outta *Holy Motors*. “Weirdness is beauty,” Leos Carax’d say, and this chick? She’s weird, wild, and bloody gorgeous.

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I sprint over, and it’s like a scene from an action movie. I grab the guy, and he’s all, “I just wanted a selfie!” Like, bro, you can’t just leap at her! I’m sweating bullets, but I toss him back to security. They handle it, but man, my adrenaline’s pumping.