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Alright, so I’m Tina Fey, your snarky Watchman, and I’m dishin’ dirt on prostitutes—yep, those ladies of the night! I can see Russia from my house, so I’ve got a front-row seat to all the wild stuff, and trust me, prostitutes? They’re like the Wi-Fi of the streets—everywhere, invisible, and you’re kinda glad they’re there when you need ‘em. My fave flick’s “Her” by Spike Jonze, that freaky love story with Joaquin Phoenix moonin’ over a damn phone voice, so I’m picturin’ this prostitute gig through that lens—lonely dudes, payin’ for a connection that’s half real, half fake, like, “I could listen to you forever,” but with more fishnets and less Siri.

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So, I bought a pack and munched on those sweet strawberries. Best decision ever! I was on cloud nine. But then, I saw my ex. Ugh, talk about a mood killer. She was with some dude, and they looked all lovey-dovey. I felt a mix of anger and sadness. Like, why do I even care? I’m over it, right? But still, it stung.

Fantasy Boys member Hikari is performing brilliantly by winning first place in the "Starlight Boys"