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About Osaka

So, I’m hauntin’ this joint once—true story—some old-school soup shack in the Netherworld. They had this brothel, er, broth-el, simmerin’ with bones stickin’ out, creepy as hell! Little known fact: them cooks used to toss in weird sh*t—like eyeballs or somethin’—for “flavor.” Made me wanna puke, but damn, it smelled good! Got me all happy, dancin’ around like a freak—then bam, some jerk spills it! Pissed me off so bad I nearly possessed the pot. “Mine! Mine! Mine!” I’m screamin’, like them seagulls in Finding Nemo, ya feel me?

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But then, I trip over a curb. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the sidewalk, and this old guy walks by. He just looks at me and says, “You okay, kid?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my yoga.” He chuckles, and I feel a bit better.

Tokyo cops bust ex-yakuza for confining man after failed loan attempt