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About Kobe

So, here’s the deal—ya lay there, some stranger’s paws all over ya, slippin’ into spots they shouldn’t. Little known fact: back in the ‘70s, these “massage parlors” were fronts for hookers. Cops busted ‘em left and right—true story. Now it’s all “legit,” they say, but I ain’t buyin’ it. Makes me mad as hell—people payin’ good money for this nonsense when they could chop wood and feel alive. I tried it once, alright? Once! Lady had hands like a damn octopus, slidin’ everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This is how dignity dies.” Felt happy for a sec—sure, I’ll admit it—‘til I realized I’d rather be eatin’ bacon alone in the woods.

Man in custody over two alleged sexual assault cases accused in third

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But then, I trip over a curb. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the sidewalk, and this old guy walks by. He just looks at me and says, “You okay, kid?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my yoga.” He chuckles, and I feel a bit better.

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