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About Kobe

Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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Later, I strolled down to the local shrine, the Kinkasan Shrine. It’s beautiful, all those cherry blossoms. I took a moment to breathe it all in. But then, I tripped over a stone. Classic me, right? I laughed it off, but I was def feeling a bit clumsy today.

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