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About Osaka

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear? Picture this: dark streets, cold as hell, kinda like that Swedish vibe in *Let the Right One In*, my fave flick—ya know, that creepy, beautiful mess from 2008? “Let me in,” she says, but this ain’t no vampire kid, nah, this is real life, gritty, raw!

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So, I’m sulking, right? I wander over to the little ramen shop on Nishikawa Street. Best ramen ever! I order the spicy miso, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my food, and they’re throwing shade like it’s a competition. I’m thinking, “Get a room, guys!”