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About Kyoto

So, picture this—some chick, let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? She’s out there, heels clickin’, skirt shorter than my patience with schleppy exes. I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re workin’ harder than that horse pullin’ the cart!”—y’know, from the movie? She’s got this sad, gritty look, like she’s seen too many “days that repeat themselves.” That line kills me! Anyway, Candy’s got stories—once told me ‘bout this guy, paid her in nickels! NICKELS! I was screamin’, “What is this, 1890?!” Made me so mad, I coulda spit! But also—kinda funny, right? *NAAAHAHAHA*

For Travel Agents

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Chuo-dori. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grab my usual—salmon, of course. But guess what? They were out! I mean, how do you run out of salmon onigiri in Hachinohe? It’s like running out of rice in Japan! I was fuming. I settled for some weird tuna mayo thing. Not the same, man.

Figure 6: Google Map view of the Mabechi River entrance into Hachinohe...