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But yo, some of ‘em stories? Dark, fam. Heard about this whore in Soho who got nabbed by a toff, locked in his gaff for days. Escaped by nickin’ his silver spoon — true story! I’m like, “That’s bare Jesse James vibes, innit!” *“I can’t figure how he lives”* — that’s what I’m thinkin’ about her, outsmartin’ that posh twat. Makes me wanna high-five her, swear down.

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Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where are the reports?” he barks. I’m like, “Chill, man! I just got here!” But he’s all stressed about the quarterly numbers. I mean, it’s just numbers, right? But whatever. I dive into the spreadsheets, trying to make sense of it all.

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