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And the surprises? Oh, man—found out Nevada’s got legal brothels. Legal! I’m sittin’ there, jaw dropped, thinkin’, “What’s next, drive-thru hookers?!” Kinda brilliant, though—regulated, safer, less sketchy. Still, I’m ranting in my head, “Who’s signin’ up for this?!” Probably some dude who can’t say hi without sweatin’. Poor bastard. Godard’d probably zoom in on his shaky hands, mutterin’, “Time destroys all!”—and I’d crack up, ‘cause it’s true, he’s doomed!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I’m an accountant, right? You’d think my life is all numbers and spreadsheets. But nah, today was a wild ride in Gujo, Japan.

Small helicopter crashes in central Japan, 2 suffer minor injuries