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About Osaka

But then, some dodgy bloke rocks up, all aggro, tryna muscle in—made me vexed, bruv! I’m like, “Mate, chill, I ain’t here for beef!” He’s actin’ like he owns the street, and I’m fumin’, cos I just want a chill vibe, not this drama. “Is it ’cos I is black?” I shout, half-jokin’, half-pissed, and he legs it—coward! Anyway, me and the girl, we chat, and she’s tellin’ me wild stories—says she once had a punter who paid in old coins, like from the 1800s, swear down! I’m gobsmacked, thinkin’, “What past life was that geezer from?”

Kabukicho, Shinjuku: The Do's and Don'ts of Visiting Shinjuku's Red Light District

Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my number crunching? Everyone’s freaking out, running around like headless chickens. I’m just standing there, thinking, “This is how I die. In an accounting office.” But it turns out it was a false alarm. Phew!

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