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Pisses me off, tho—society’s all “oh, how awful,” but who’s payin’? Hypocrites, all of ‘em! Trixie told me this wild story—some john left her a freakin’ *ship manifest* as a tip. Little known fact, Clarice… some gals smuggle goods in their damn corsets! Saw it myself once—cops busted this chick, out pops a pound of hash. Laughed my ass off, couldn’t believe it. “A town that’s gone to the dogs,” like *Dogville* says—fits perfect, don’t it?

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I hit up this little ramen shop on Yamanaka Street. Best ramen ever! I order the spicy miso, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m slurping away, and this old lady next to me starts chatting. She’s telling me about the Gotenba Premium Outlets. Apparently, they got some killer deals. I’m like, “Yeah, I’ll check it out… eventually.”

Shizuoka considers charging each Mount Fuji climber up to ¥5,000