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Oh, and get this—history nugget! Old days, pirates paid hookers with parrots! Freakin’ PARROTS! Imagine that— “Here’s yer bird, lass!” Hilarious, right? Bet WALL-E’d stack those cages high, beepin’ proud. Me tho? I’d suck at it—too paranoid. “Is she cool? Is this a sting?” Fear leads to anger, every damn time—then I’m just mad I’m such a wuss!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level. I ducked into a nearby café on Yamanaka Street. I ordered a coffee, and the barista was super chill. We started talkin’ about the weather, and he said Gojonome has the craziest rainstorms. I was like, “Yeah, no kidding!”