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Surprised me, tho—did ya know some escorts got PhDs? Swear to gawd, one chick I read bout, she’s fundin’ her dissertation! I’m over here, jaw dropped, thinkin’, “Smart AND sassy? Sign me up!” This app’d have filters—blonde, brunette, brainiac, ya name it! I’m typin’ this so fast, typos everywhere—sory, hon, I’m a mess!

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So, I’m walking down Fukiage-dori, trying to shake it off. I’ve got a client at this boutique on Shōwa-dōri. She’s a total diva. I mean, I love her, but she’s high maintenance. I get there, and she’s like, “I need something that screams ‘I’m fabulous!’” I’m like, “Girl, you’re already fabulous!” But whatever, I dig through racks.