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About Osaka

Now, sexual-massage ain’t just hands on bits—nah, it’s old as sin! Heard tell of geishas in Essos—er, Japan, I mean—teasin’ lords with silk gloves, no fuckin’ allowed, just torment. Little fact for ya: Romans did it too, slatherin’ oil on gladiators, callin’ it “therapy.” Therapy, my arse! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some oiled-up brute moanin’ while I’m dodgin’ swords. Happy? Sure, when the lass knows her craft—fingers dancin’ like a bard’s tune. Angry? Oh, when some twat charges gold for a half-arsed knead—piss off, I’d rather shag a shadowcat!

for a drink! Nishiura 'Bar Hop Sake'

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a text from my buddy. “Dude, there’s a festival at the base of Fuji!” I’m like, “What?!” So, I finish my ramen in record time and race over. The vibe is electric! People everywhere, food stalls, music blasting. I’m in heaven.

Yamanashi city weighs entrance fee to park famed for Mt. Fuji views