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I’d saunter up, all awkward, like, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d laugh—*laugh*!—right in my face. “What’s a preacher want with me?” she’d say, and I’d be pissed, like, “Don’t stereotype me, lady!” But also kinda happy ‘cause she’s sharp—sharper than me, probs. Fun fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were called “soiled doves”—ain’t that poetic? She’s a dove, I’m a dork, perfect match.

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Then, I get a call from my boss. Ugh, the worst! He’s all like, “We need to discuss the economic forecast.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Enzan! Can’t we do this later?” But no, he insists. So, I’m trying to sound all professional while I’m standing in the middle of a grape field. “Yes, the GDP is looking good…” Meanwhile, I’m eyeing the grapes like they’re my best friends.

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