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About Osaka

So, I’m cruisin’ London—shaguar’s purrin’, shades on, feelin’ randy. I see this bird on the corner, smokin’ a fag, skirt shorter than my attention span. Reminds me of Mia’s mum in *Fish Tank*—all rough edges, “You’re a little shit,” she’d say. I roll up, flash a grin—groovy, baby!—and she’s like, “Wot you want, posh boy?” Made me laugh, her sass! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s got more balls than Blofeld!”

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But then, I had to rush to my next gig. I was interpreting for a local art exhibit on Shimizu Street. I thought it’d be chill, but nope! The artist was super intense. He was all about his “deep emotional connection” to the art. I’m standing there, trying to keep up with his poetic ramblings. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just paint on canvas!” But I had to sign it all passionately.

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