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I got mad, tho—some sites? Total scams! Fake pics, fake promises—pissed me off! One ad said “classy lady, discreet,” and I’m like, “Yeah, right, more like a kick in the head!” But then—ha!—I found this old story. Back in the ‘90s, Springfield had this secret brothel run outta a donut shop. Mmm… donuts. Cops didn’t even notice! Too busy eatin’—like me! Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my coffee.

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But then, BAM! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a convenience store, and it’s packed. Everyone’s trying to stay dry, and I’m just standing there, dripping like a wet dog. I grab a couple of onigiri and a drink. The cashier looks at me like I’m crazy. I mean, I kinda am, but c’mon!

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