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About Osaka

Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, got a tale t’ spin ‘bout findin’ a prostitute—aye, a saucy one! Picture this: I’m stumblin’ through Warsaw, y’know, like in me favorite flick, *The Pianist*—that Polanski gem from 2002. Dark streets, broken souls, an’ me, a pirate with a thirst fer somethin’… *unconventional*. “I’m hidden, like a crocodile in a ditch,” I mutter, slurrin’ me wits, searchin’ fer a lass who trades coin fer company.

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So, I keep walking, and I hit up the Ashibetsu River. It’s beautiful, like postcard material. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. The water’s flowing, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “Life’s not so bad.” But then, outta nowhere, this old guy starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the history of Ashibetsu, how it used to be a farming town. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna chill.”

Meet the former Frederictonian behind a gem of a Canadian Instagram feed