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What pisses me off? The bloody hypocrisy! Lords struttin’ round, judgin’ me for a tumble, when they’re sneakin’ off to the same dens! Makes me wanna roar like Fear shoutin’, “We’re in danger!” Happy bit? Found this one gal—swear she was a riot—knew every filthy joke in Westeros, had me laughin’ ‘til me sides split. Surprised me too—did ya know in old Essos, they’d train prossies to spy? Sneaky bitches’d report back to kings while you’re pantin’—talk about multitaskin’!

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Then, I get this call from an old lady. She’s lost her cat, Tofu. I’m feelin’ for her, ya know? I mean, who loses a cat named Tofu? I’m like, “Where’d you last see him?” She says, “He was on the roof!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, how’d he get up there?” So, I’m tryin’ to help her, but I’m also cracking up.

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