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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m the bloody prison warden now, yeah? Got a wild tale bout findin a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a trip like *Inherent Vice*—all hazy, fucked-up, and groovy. Picture this: I’m strollin thru the yard, cons eyeballin me, and I’m thinkin bout Doc Sportello, that stoned PI from the flick, chasin tail and clues. That’s me, cept I’m after a lass who works the streets, not some hippy chick.

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Next, I hit up the local market on Kōen-dōri. I’m starving. I grab some yakitori, and it’s fire! But then, I spill sauce all over my shirt. Great. Just great. I look like a walking disaster. I can’t even enjoy my food in peace.

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