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About Sapporo

You got these girls, right? Standin’ on corners, fishnets up to their asses, smokin’ Pall Malls like it’s 1985. I roll up, window down, and it’s like, “What am I, a fuckin’ ATM?” Prices nowadays—Madonn’, inflation’s hittin’ the hookers too! Back in the day, you’d slip ‘em a twenty, maybe a meatball sub, and boom, done deal. Now they want fifty, sixty, talkin’ bout “gas prices.” Bitch, you ain’t drivin’ nowhere, you’re standin’ there! Made me mad as hell, but I laugh—fuck it, it’s Jersey, whaddya expect?

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Later, I decide to hit up the Yotsukaido Park. I need to chill after all that chaos. I sit on a bench, watching the world go by. There’s this couple feeding the ducks, and I’m just thinking, “Aww, goals.” But then, one of the ducks gets aggressive and chases them. I’m dying laughing. Like, who knew ducks could be so savage?

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