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About Osaka

Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Dr. Evil, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” and I’m here to yap about whores, ‘cause why not? Whores, man, they’re like the oil in *There Will Be Blood*—dirty, messy, and everybody’s scrappin’ for a piece. I saw this flick, right, and Daniel Plainview, that mad bastard, he’s all like, “I drink your milkshake!”—screamin’ it, wild-eyed. That’s a whore to me, yeah? Suckin’ up everything ‘til there’s nothin’ left. Gets me pumped, that energy, that hustle!

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little joint on Kōen-dōri. You know the one? The barista there, Yuki, she’s a legend. She knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Yo, Yuki, hit me with the usual!” And she’s like, “You mean the ‘I need caffeine or I’ll die’ special?” Haha, love her.