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I see this movie, “The White Ribbon,” dark stuff, eh? Village all stiff, no fun, no sexy. Sexual-massage there? No chance! They need it bad, loosen up! Like preacher say in film, “I’ll teach you to obey,” but me, I say, “I teach you to relax, yes?” Haha! I get angry – why no one touch nice in that movie? All cold, brrr. Sexual-massage warm you up, soul and body, trust me.

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I rush over, and there’s a crowd gathered. People are filming it like it’s some kinda reality show. I’m standing there, trying to keep it together, but inside I’m cracking up. Kenji’s up the tree, looking like a total goofball, trying to coax Mr. Whiskers down with a can of tuna. I’m like, “Bro, you’re not a cat whisperer!”